“It is only when a man shines the light of his faith out towards his wife that he finds her heart inclined toward him, to meet him halfway.”
(Likutei Moharan II:87)

What does this mean to me?

In the original lesson quoted above, Rebbe Nachman explains the spiritual root of why relationships either fail to materialize or go awry. In this particular lesson, Rebbe Nachman focused on where the blockage might be for a man, and told his students that the ideal time to repair this flaw is in the month of Elul. The word Elul is an acronym: Ani L’Dodi V’Dodi Li—“I am to my beloved, and my beloved is to me.” By directing the highest and best part of oneself—one’s faith and G-dly awareness—to one’s wife, by shining that light toward her and sharing it with her in a positive way, her heart is inclined toward him as well. Then, without any need for coercion or convincing, of her own will she feels agreement with him and becomes a true “helpmeet opposite him.”

A prayer:

G-d of mercy, G-d of love,
it is sometimes difficult—
so painfully difficult—
to sustain a harmonious home life,
to maintain a marriage
based on
true friendship and love.
Let never a hint
of argument, frustration or suspicion
cloud our relationship.
We need
an extra measure of compassion
to understand
and to care for one another
with genuine sensitivity
and with open acceptance.
Let abundant peace fill our home.
(From The Gentle Weapon*, p. 49)

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*“The Gentle Weapon: Prayers for Everyday and Not-So-Everyday Moments – Timeless Wisdom from the Teachings of the Hasidic Master, Rebbe Nachman of Breslov” by Rebbe Nachman of Breslov, Adapted by Moshe Mykoff & S.C. Mizrahi with the Breslov Research Institute, 1999.  Permission granted by Jewish Lights Publishing, Woodstock, VT,www.jewishlights.com.