How can we be at peace with the bad as well as the good, in all that happens to us?
Torah and prayer. Rebbe Nachman teaches: How can we be at peace with the bad as well as the good, in all that happens to us? Through the Torah, which is called shalom (Likutey Moharan I, 33:1). Torah is called peace. It brings peace. The best solution for the person who has no inner peace – whose thoughts and counsel are forever split, whose decisions are uncertain and divided, whose mind is at war – is to study Torah, especially the legal codes. Just as each person experiences conflict within himself and disagreement with his family and friends, so too, there are debates and arguments in the Oral Law. By working to clarify the law, to make peace between the different opinions, you attach yourself to the peace of holiness. This helps you resolve your own inner conflicts (Likutey Moharan I, 62:2). Just as the disputes of Torah are settled through such principles as compromise and the search for truth within the texts, your personal conflicts can be solved through the practice of this very same code of conduct within your life.
Besides, the Torah also promotes peace, especially inner peace, by keeping those who study it away from the constant bombardment of the mass-media. Newspapers, radio and television reports of stock-market crashes, violence, war, and political back-stabbings (and front-flatterings), have a way of placing a good helping of turmoil on the breakfast plate together with the morning coffee. It usually comes just in time to ruin what might have started out as a nice, peaceful day. It does much the same when we are ready for a pleasant night’s sleep. How much more peaceful it would be to read a few pages of Chumash or Mishnah and to recite some chapters of the Psalms at the start of the day.
The best solution for the person who has no inner peace – whose thoughts and counsel are forever split, whose mind is at war – is to study Torah!
Above all else, peace can be attained by your praying for it. Just as in your hitbodedut you asked God to keep you from the obstacles to peace, from the negative, ask Him also for the positive. “Please, God, let me find an inner peace. Let me be at peace with myself, my family and everyone I know. And, let the world, with all its differences and distinctions, attain universal peace.” Realize that this takes time. You must have an abundance of patience to strive for inner peace. And, you must believe, no matter how it seems, that your every prayer does bring the world closer to universal peace.
Dialogue and truth. As we’ve seen, peace is the mutual cooperation that exists between different and differing parties, within any given unit., This unit may be smaller or greater, yet the same rules apply. For there to be peace, there must be a dialogue and rapport between the conflicting components of one personality. Between husband and wife, parents and children, between neighbors, business partners and so on. A more expanded peace requires dialogue and rapport between the members of a synagogue, a neighborhood and even a city. Taken still further, there is the greater peace that exists when there is dialogue and rapport between different factions in a nation and between different ethnic groups and countries. The ultimate peace, universal peace, will only come as a result of a dialogue and rapport which our world has yet to taste.
Reb Noson writes: When there is strife between people, they are not open with one another. This makes it impossible for either of them to speak to the other and draw closer to the truth. Even if people talk to each other, their main concern is to win the argument, which means that neither side is open to the words of the other (Advice, Peace 8).
There can be no real peace without dialogue. Without real peace there can be no honest dialogue. So where does one begin? When peace is what you want and you don’t know how to get it, open a dialogue in search of the truth. With yourself, this dialogue is hitbodedut. With someone else, this dialogue – even if it’s not yet honest dialogue because peace is lacking – should be directed towards the truth. Make certain you differentiate between peace and cease-fire. A cease-fire is a mutual agreement between embattled parties to cease hostilities, whereas peace is harmony. Peace is understanding that both sides come to their dialogue on an equal footing. They do not have to be equals, but each one does have to see the other’s desire for truth as equal to his own. Neither party seeks to dominate the other, but rather, to work together in their search for peace and truth.
Silence. We find in the Holy Zohar: King David says, “God saves man and beast” (Psalms 36:7). Is there a connection being made here between man and beast? Yes. This refers to a man, a wise man, who, despite being embarrassed, maintains his silence. Why? By holding his tongue, though he’s been hurt by another’s insensitivity, he is like the beast which cannot speak. This is the wisest of all acts, for he knows how to succeed in life. And, above all, he knows how to maintain peace (Zohar III:91a).
There can be no real peace without dialogue!
In a similar vein, Rebbe Nachman teaches: The essence of repentance is when a person hears himself being insulted and nevertheless remains silent. He hears himself ridiculed yet does not reply in kind. This indicates that he is unconcerned by affronts to his honor (Likutey Moharan I, 6,2). The result, as the Rebbe goes on to explain, is peace. When you can keep your silence despite being embarrassed you will see your enemies, both internal and external, eliminated. You can then come to achieve both an inner and [albeit modified] universal peace.
Reb Yisroel Abba Rosenfeld (1882-1947) was very concerned that there be peace among his children. In his will, he stressed his desire that they all overlook each others’ faults. His words were, “zohl mein’s ibber gein (let mine be overlooked) [be silent. Forgive and overlook anything that might lead to strife within the family, even if you sustain a loss because of it]” (Rabbi Zvi Aryeh Rosenfeld).
However, the thing to watch out for is that your remaining silent is only for the sake of repentance – i.e. you realize that the insult and indignity actually come from Heaven and accept them as such. Sometimes, a person remains silent because he really doesn’t have a way of answering and is afraid of putting his foot in his mouth any further. Or perhaps, his silence is an attempt to cover over something else. Worse, is the silence of someone who knows that the person who insulted him is waiting for a retort and he won’t give him that satisfaction. In all of these cases, there is no reward for his silence (Likutey Moharan I, 82). The reason is simple. Silence meant as a retort or which has some ulterior motive, leaves a person angry, looking for revenge. Such silence does not bring peace. Only the silence which is motivated by repentance brings peace.
(Taken from the book Crossing the Narrow Bridge: A Practical Guide to Rebbe Nachman’s Teachings chapter 10 – Peace)
