We didn’t feel like going out in that kind of weather. I was really disappointed but thankfully, then went into solution mode and devised a plan B…
Last week I had a date night planned with my husband. As it turned out, it was pouring super hard outside, and we didn’t feel like going out in that kind of weather. The roads around where we live are not exactly inclement-weather-friendly, otherwise I do love to drive in the rain. I was really disappointed but thankfully, then went into solution mode and devised a plan B.
Before I tell you about plan B, let me first explain what motivated me to get creative. Because honestly, my nature and already feeling tired at that hour of the night could have easily gotten me to give up before I even tried. And I think a lot of us ladies do this in one way or another when it comes to spend time with the hubby but for whatever reason it’s not smooth sailing to do so.
First, I remembered what we had just learned at my homeschool-parenting mentor course: nighttime is for bonding (for kids AND for husbands). Try to get your housework done before nightfall and relax with your family at night, whether that means reading books together, playing a game, listening to music, or just shooting the breeze. So, I was determined to have this bonding time with my husband, since it’s not always a given that we get it in.
I also put myself in my husband’s place. He’s out all day dealing with demanding clients, deadlines, government offices, gruff colleagues. I think I can figure out a way to make date night happen despite inclement weather. A relaxing and enjoyable night at home will lift his moral and brighten his week – isn’t it worth it to go out of my way for that?
Nighttime is for bonding (for kids AND for husbands). Try to get your housework done before nightfall and relax with your family at night!
The first thing I did was get dressed up and do my makeup. Just because we aren’t dining out doesn’t mean I can’t make an effort to look pretty for him. Men are very visual and even if we can’t look our best for them every single minute of the day, we can still show them whenever possible that we want to make an effort to look good for them, don’t you think? The way I see it, if I made an effort to look good while we were dating, there’s no reason to let go of that effort now that we’re married.
Next, I ordered takeout from our favorite restaurant. My husband and I try to consistently eat very healthily but we do love American-style pastrami sandwiches, burgers, French fries, and coleslaw every once in a blue moon. Digging into this type of food is our kind of FUN! After having made the order, I cleared some clutter from our bedroom, dimmed the lights, lit a candle, and got a bottle of wine out.
I also took out some date night flash cards. Have you heard of these? They are absolutely hilarious! I think relationship coach Dr. Gottman originally came up with them. My friend once shared with me a generic printout of a whole bunch of them, and I use some on our dates every now and again. Basically, it’s questions that a couple can ask each other for fun, or to get to know each other better.
Flash cards… Have you heard of these? They are absolutely hilarious!
For example: What is your favorite memory of us going out? Do you ever dream about me? Is there a member from your family who reminds you of me? What is your favorite thing that I ever did for you on a special occasion? What is your favorite book from the past year? What is another career that you would love to have?
It turned out to be a very successful in-house date! And it reminded me how valuable it is to take the initiative every once in a while, and make sure my husband and I have quality time together. No matter how long you’ve been married, isn’t it the greatest thing to still have fun together, keep the relationship going in creative ways, keep the spark alive, and to show him that you care by looking pretty for him, planning a nice date for the two of you, listening to him and spoiling him?
It seems to me that the idea of pampering your husband, taking care of him in other ways and generally investing in one’s marriage has gone a bit by the wayside in our world. As far as the women that I know, it’s not so much modern feminism that’s influenced this trend as it is women working almost or just as hard outside of the home as men. Doesn’t leave much time for creativity or initiative for date nights, special mealtimes, and pampering, does it? Still, let’s not take our marriage for granted. Let’s try to keep it fresh, alive, creative, and fun – it is well worth the effort and can even be done in the comfort of your own home!