“Speak to Hashem from way beyond your ego. Don’t be shy. Don’t hold yourself back. Be like Chana!”
Yesterday I went to Ra’nana to consult with a Rabbi who I have found to be unusually insightful. I wanted to ask him about certain prayer insights that I recently had – to make sure that I was on point. Amazingly, he did confirm that my insights were on point and showed me more sources for them. It was very exciting!
He then quickly moved on to point out that there exists a missing link in this equation of mine. He spoke in Hebrew and he’s often quite cryptic in how he articulates himself but basically, bottom line, he said that I must go way beyond these technical insights, as effective as they may be, and delve more deeply into the emotional and beyond. “Beyond” being a part of us that is very deep inside and on a higher spiritual level; a truth that would become so obvious if we would only clear out our mental clutter and ego-type thinking and open ourselves to it, praying from that aspect of ourselves.
“Speak to Hashem from way beyond your ego. Don’t be shy. Don’t hold yourself back. Be like Chana. Chana spoke in a very dramatic and in your face way to Hashem. That is why Eli HaCohen was so shocked by it. It seemed so inappropriate and yet that is exactly how we should be praying to God. Do not be like the walking dead”, the Rav said.
Amazingly, he did confirm that my insights were on point and showed me more sources for them. It was very exciting!
He continued, “Do not worry about looking or sounding crazy. Speak to God from your nullified self, from your higher self; from that place that revives you and others, that truly gives and not just takes. I know you have a sense of humor – why aren’t you using it in your prayers? I know you can be dramatic – where is the drama in your prayers?”
Okay… I am still trying to process his words and advice, especially in light of Chanukah coming up and wanting to pray in the most effective way possible by the lights of the menorah. What I think I understood from the Rav is that I need to soften in order to allow the tightness of old hurts and traumas to melt away from my nervous system, allowing me to pray in a more real and unreserved manner.
Chanukah is a better time to clear away the clouds so your inner light can shine!
The road to refinement and purity is also one of revival. Reviving yourself and others should be at the forefront of one’s mind when praying. It is a very high road to take when you really think about it.
So practically speaking for Chanukah, I’m going to try and be a lot less constricted and a lot more real and flowing in my praying. I’m going to try and step away from my mental capacities (which is a challenge, especially being a Gemini) and pray from a higher place within. How? I’m not really sure yet but I have a week to ask Hashem to help me figure it out as well as to affirm to myself that I can actually do this.
I am capable of receiving guidance and wisdom from Hashem.
When I fill my heart with love, compassion and forgiveness, Hashem’s infinite love, compassion, and forgiveness flow through me.
I am becoming more relaxed and free as I release old fears and false beliefs.
I use my prayer to revive myself and others.
Ladies, there is no better time than Chanukah to clear away the clouds so your inner light can shine!
