Norma, who became my student and friend in her 82nd year, was on fire for Rebbe Nachman from the moment she laid eyes on one of his works.
The Rebbe’s spiritual and psychological genius, his gift at explaining the Torah as a text unto itself and as a personal map — simultaneously! — satisfied her and made her hungry for more — simultaneously!
As her coach I suggested, that even though there was a lot she wanted to learn and even though she hated missing our meetings, she should go to Uman. She wasn’t getting younger and her love for the Rebbe was so
great: “if not now, when?” (Avot 1:Z).
I’m old, I’m sick (she had survived childhood tuberculosis, cancer [twice, but alas, not the third time]), I don’t speak Hebrew (a tour for Israeli women was the only one she could schedule), I didn’t grow up religious
With a little bit of encouragement from me and her good friend Masha T. (who ended up going with her), Norma went.
Physically, it was a difficult trip. “I didn’t care. When I got to the Rebbe’s grave, I didn’t want to sleep or eat or drink or go anywhere.
I didn’t care that our accomodations were sub-standard, that our meals were spartan. I just wanted to spend every moment davening (praying) and learning and talking to the Rebbe. Everything else was or would ave been a waste of time.”
Reb Noson said: If necessary, I would crawl on my hands and knees over a bed of knives to get to the Rebbe’s grave.
Going to Uman is not a retreat where one goes for gourmet meals and pampering. Going to Uman is more like going to a Native American sweat lodge — you have to sweat it out and go through a purging NOT A PAMPERING.
“every thing else is a waste of time”
