How Can We Get a Second Chance? – Parshat Beha’alotekha

Sometimes it seems like we “missed the train” and that there is no possibility for another chance. From this week’s parsha, we will learn how we can merit to a second chance, even when we were in the wrong.

This week’s Torah portion is Parshat Beha’alotekha. One of the topics in the parsha is a puzzling and miraculous story which resulted in G-d giving us the mitzvah of “Pesach Sheini,” which literally means “a second Passover.” Let us take a look at the story as it is written in the Torah:

“There were men who were ritually unclean [because of contact with] a dead person, and therefore could not make the Passover sacrifice on that day. So, they approached Moses and Aaron on that day. Those men said to him, ‘We are ritually unclean [because of contact] with a dead person; [but] why should we be excluded so as not to bring the offering of the Lord in its appointed time, with all the children of Israel?’ Moses said to them, ‘Wait, and I will hear what the Lord instructs concerning you’” (Deuteronomy 9:6-8).

G-d’s answer was: “Speak to the children of Israel saying, Any person who becomes unclean from [contact with] the dead, or is on a distant journey, whether among you or in future generations, he shall make a Passover sacrifice for the Lord. In the second month, on the fourteenth day, in the afternoon, they shall make it” (Ibid., 9:10-11).

There is no doubt that there is a wonderful and lofty matter here that is beyond the realm of regular understanding. Imagine that there was someone who was unable to observe the mitzvah of the sukkah or lulav and etrog during Sukkot. Would he come in the middle of winter and ask to make up for that mitzvah? Is such a request even logical? Would we permit him to do so? Of course not. How, then, did the people come to Moses and ask, “Why should we be excluded so as not to bring the offering of the Lord in its appointed time?”

Let us learn a lesson that Rebbe Nachman taught concerning the way of teshuvah (repentance). (The topic of repentance is also related to the concept of having a second chance, isn’t it?) When a person repents then he merits Divine honor. The essence of teshuvah is when someone is disgraced by another person and remains silent, meaning that he suffers the embarrassment and the figurative “spilling of his blood.” This is necessary in order to subdue the blood in the left ventricle of the heart where the yetzer hara (the evil inclination) dwells and which is the root of our base desires and sins.

When a person desires to repent, it is as if now he wants to start living his life anew in this world, since it would have been better that someone who sins would never have been created (Eruvin 13b). And when he does teshuvah, it is as if he now wants to start to live his life anew. This is hinted at in one of the names of HaKadosh Baruch Hu, the name “E-heyeh,” (א-היה) meaning, “I want to exist.” (Note: meaning, of course, in relation to us. It wouldn’t make any sense to say “I want to exist” regarding the Creator.)

But before a person returns in teshuvah, the holy name, “E-heyeh” is in a state of hastarat panim (hiddenness) from him. This hastarat panim of the name “E-heyeh” is termed in the language of Kabbalah the “back” of “E-heyeh.” The explanation is that when one is calculating the word “E-heyeh” in such a way that each time one returns backwards to the previous letter, when one writes these letters out in continuation, one gets: א, then א-ה (6), followed by, א-ה-י (16), and finally א-ה-י-ה (22). (The numbers in parentheses are the gematria, or numerical equivalent of each group of letters.) The total numerical value is 44, which is the same gematria as the word “dam” (blood).

When a person repents then he merits Divine honor. The essence of teshuvah is when someone is disgraced by another person and remains silent!

In summary: before a person repents, the holy name “E-heyeh” is in a state of hastarat panim or hiddenness from him. This name of G-d has the same gematria (numerical equivalent) as the word “blood.” The tikkun (rectification) is to turn dam (blood) into dom (silence), which happens when a person hears himself being disgraced (the aspect of his blood being spilled) and does not respond (the aspect of being silent while being disgraced). This is how he rectifies the blood in the left cavity of his heart which is the source of his desire to sin.

Rebbe Nachman continues that a person’s teshuvah should be an active and intense form of repentance, “teshuvah al teshuvah” (repenting for his former repentance which was not a complete repentance). He needs to be doubly proficient, in “ratzo v’shav,” in running and returning. “In running’ means that he knows that even when he progresses and repents, he still has to make great efforts and to yearn to continue advancing more and more in his Divine service, saying each time, “What more can I do?” And on the other hand, when a person feels that he is falling from his level, and he is disgraced and distant from G-d, he must experience the disgrace and humiliation and be silent. He must carry on and continue doing what he needs to and not, G-d forbid, let himself become further distanced. This is called being proficient in “returning.”

All this is reflected in the structure of the letter aleph. As is written in the Zohar: the letter aleph א consists of an upper and lower point, which both resemble the letter yud י the lower point being inverted, and between them there is the letter vav ו connecting them, forming the letter aleph. In the context of our discussion, “ratzo,” or running, parallels the upper yud, while “shov,” returning, is the dom, which is the aspect of not responding and remaining silent which parallels the lower yud. By not responding and remaining silent, it is possible to connect the upper and lower points via the vav, thus forming the letter aleph, which is used in the word adam, human being. This signifies that one merits to be a “complete person” and to fully correct his actions (Likutei Moharan I, 6).

One has to strive to ascend and progress despite the difficulties!

Rabbi Natan connects these awesome teachings of Rabbi Nachman to the wonderous matter of Pesach Sheini. He explains: The people who came to Moshe asked him a legitimate question. They came submissively before the true tzaddik and before G-d and asked humbly: “Why should we be excluded so as not to bring the offering of the Lord in its appointed time?”

They knew full well that according to the letter of the law, they were barred from making the offering. They also accepted responsibility: “We became ritually impure (tameh) through contact with the dead.” But yet, they still came with humble submission and requested to be given another chance. This is precisely why they merited to draw down a wonderful new concept: Pesach Sheini which defied all logic.

In our context, the people who came with humility and said they had become ritually impure due to contact with the dead correspond to that which we discussed above regarding the bottom point and the top point. This hints to anyone who wishes to repent that a person must come with submission and recognize that he is tameh, impure, due to his sins, and that he is in a state of hastarat panim (hiddenness) with respect to the Divine name “E-heyeh.” With such submission, he turns dam, the blood, into dom, silence.

The acknowledgement that he is tameh, that he is guilty and caused himself to be in the miserable condition in which he finds himself, is the aspect of dom, the suffering disgrace and bloodshed. Precisely in this way, he will merit that HaKadosh Baruch Hu will have mercy on him and will give him another chance, allowing him to repent, and to still offer his Pesach sacrifice.

The people who came to Moses and succeeded in receiving a favorable answer from G-d that they could make their offering on Pesach Sheini, teach us that anyone can get another chance to regain closeness to G-d, even it he seems like he “missed the boat.” Any person, even one who has fallen into sin and behaved badly, in such a way that he really doesn’t “deserve” another chance to repent and draw closer to G-d, can still return in teshuvah.

A person needs to turn dam, blood into dom, silence, to behave with humility, to admit that he has been tameh in his behavior, and to accept responsibility for his present situation. He must humbly ask for a tikkun, rectification for his behavior, and then he will merit to a Pesach Sheini—a further opportunity in order to correct his deeds.

(Based on Likutei Halachot, Birkat HaPeirot 5:16)