My friend Sarah’s Inner Genius (You Have One Too!)

Here is something I’ve been learning in my homeschool-parenting mentor group really hit home: the fact that every child/person has inner genius!

Hey Mommas! This past Shabbos, something I’ve been learning in my homeschool-parenting mentor group really hit home: the fact that every child/person has inner genius. I know it’s hard to believe because we’ve been programmed to only look at high intellectual intelligence as genius, but this is just not true. There is musical intelligence, social skills intelligence, spatial intelligence, artistic intelligence, creative intelligence, linguistic intelligence, and many others.

Often, if parents pay close attention, they can clearly see which intelligence is dominant in their child. On the other hand, certain intelligences do not manifest themselves until later in life. Yet most parents and thus their children as well, feel bad when their child does not do well in school, even though school measures only one kind of intelligence: the ability to memorize and regurgitate information. Instead of nurturing and encouraging their child’s inner genius, parents put pressure on their children to do well in the intellectual genius area.

This is a serious injustice not only to children but to the world at large. Why should anyone be walking around feeling pressure or badly about themselves just because they’re not the intellectual intelligence type? How ridiculous is that? People go on to make a positive difference in the world plus a very good living as chefs, musicians, interior designers, entrepreneurs, makeup artists, hair salon owners, health and fitness coaches, energy healers, tour guides, and so much more! Why are we gaging intelligence in only one area (and thus leading people to try to excel only in that area)?

Practical example: this past Shabbos I had my good friend Sarah over. To say she did not do well in school is an understatement. Plus, she was told by authority figures that she wasn’t smart and naturally, as a little girl, she believed it.

The reality is that she has extremely high interpersonal, existential, and spatial intelligence.

Existential intelligence is defined as the ability to think deeply about life and be able to actually live out one’s truth. This is a spiritual type o intelligence that enables people to perceive the world and think about things in a non-linear way. Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to read people and situations and be able to manage and lead them. Spatial intelligence is defined as the ability to figure out three-dimensional issues related to design, architecture, and drawing/painting.

Why should anyone be walking around feeling pressure or badly about themselves just because they’re not the intellectual intelligence type?

So how did these three types of intelligence manifest themselves in Sarah’s life?

For over ten years she ran highly successful women’s trips to kivrei tzadikkim (gravesites of holy Torah scholars) in the Ukraine. The technical detail and personal attention that went into these trips is beyond what anyone could ever imagine. Getting women to sign up, booking plane tickets, hotel rooms and tour buses, learning to do business “the Ukrainian way”, getting special food and making special accommodations for certain women, making it a deep yet fun and exciting experience to trapse from gravesite to gravesite, making sure everyone was happy… the list goes on and on. But for Sarah it was a no brainer! I’m not saying she didn’t work hard – she did. But she did it with ease, she was excellent at it, and she enjoyed it thanks to her high interpersonal and existential intelligence.

Sarah also designed her own home. Years ago, being under-budget for her dream Jerusalem home, she found an old, Arab-style house for sale. It was basically one huge room with high ceilings, a kitchen, and a bathroom. She took this huge room and converted it to a four-bedroom, two bathroom GORGEOUS duplex with chandeliers, Jerusalem stone on some of the inside, a catwalk and more. All on a tight budget.

She used an architect for the technicalities, but the design was hers as well as the wall color, furniture selection and placement and ambience creation. She created the kind of home that takes you back to Jerusalem of years gone by. It’s a dream! And again, thanks to her high spatial intelligence, though she did work very hard, it was a no brainer for her.

Getting back to this past Shabbos, this was Sarah’s first time in my house, which we moved into four years ago. My living room furniture arrangement really bothered her. And honestly, it has bothered me since we moved in but I for the life of me I could not figure out a good way to arrange it! My living room happens to be really challenging for furniture placement because it’s long and narrow and opens up into both the kitchen and the main entrance of the house.

The living room layout bothered me so much that I never hung out on my couch. It just wasn’t a cozy, inviting or comfortable space if you know what I mean. Also, I have been davening in my bedroom because I couldn’t find the right davening space in the living room. Ugh!!!

Motzai Shabbos, Sarah got working! She rearranged my furniture in such an amazing way!! Now, both the dining room and living room areas feel like home! Cozy and comfortable. Life changing!!! And… she created an awesome davening space for me by placing my glass serving cart beneath my “Burning Bush” painting. She put my candlesticks there along with my siddur and other tefilas that I say daily. Then she yelled at me for using tee lights for my children’s’ candles. “Go get glass candle holders and use olive oil! You are lighting candles for your precious children – have some respect!!”

She also gave me a large, empty yahrzeit candle holder and special olive oil that she had collected from various kivrei tzadikim sites (long story) and told me to light this candle every day for a tzaddik or for the merit of the Jewish people or for Eliyahu HaNavi. She lit candles for motzai Shabbos and voila! My special and permanent davening area had been established.

Ladies – can we please try to look at our children’s intelligence more holistically? There is such a wide array of potential and capacity for growth that we are ignoring. No one should be spinning their wheels in school or at a job they hate or are not good at. Everyone is HIGHLY intelligent in at least one area, usually two or three, and are meant to share this gift with the world!

While this article is beyond the scope of how to actually do this, I think that just having the awareness as a parent that every child has inner genius and that we can help our children discover, develop and make use of it, is a great place to start. As incredibly as my friend Sarah has used her inner genius until now, I think she would have been light years ahead today if it would have been nurtured during childhood by her parents and teachers. And the same holds true for so many of us. Let’s help our children walk a more gifted path!