“And if the woman will not wish to go after you” (Bereishit 24:8)
Rebbe Nachman reveals to us an awesome secret in Likutey Moharan II, 87:
Defiance on the part of a wife toward her husband happens when the husband did not guard his covenant properly.
It is his responsibility to take great care not to look at inappropriate sights, and certainly, not to commit any inappropriate deeds.
The days of Elul are the most auspicious for this task.
Elul is all about serving Hashem regardless of whether we feel very close to Him, or chas veshalom, very far.
So, for example, when a person feels they’ve made so much progress that they can’t get any higher, they must know that they are still very distant from perfection.
Defiance on the part of a wife toward her husband happens when the husband did not guard his covenant properly!
And conversely, when a person feels that he’s fallen to the very depths, they must always know that Hashem is close and that they can always do teshuva.
The deepest, most internal form of teshuva is about guarding the covenant.
This is alluded to in this week’s parshah.
The first words of the above verse (ואם לא [תאבה האשה] ללכת אחריך) spell out “Elul,” with the middle words in parentheses, indicating that a wife’s desire to align herself with her husband depends on the extent to which he guards the covenant.
As for the wife, her task is to work on cultivating her loyalty to her husband.
And in fact, all women, whether married or not, can work on guarding the covenant by dressing and acting in a way that doesn’t attract undue attention from other men.
The month of Elul has passed, but we can still apply this lesson and work on ourselves.
It really works!
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My dear wife – Gita Ginendel bat Tzipporah – still needs a speedy recovery.
I would be most delighted and appreciative that you continue to keep her in your prayers.
And may there be only healing and joy for everyone, Amen.