Why did Avraham entrust Eliezer with the mission of finding a marriage partner for Yitzchak? Yitzhak couldn’t venture beyond Eretz Yisrael, and Avraham sought a Shidduch from his hometown, Aram, knowing already that Rivka was born.
Avraham’s preference excluded descendants of Yishmael or Lot, emphasizing the need for Eliezer to travel to Aram. Concerned about Rivka’s willingness to follow, Eliezer sought reassurance. Avraham had Eliezer place his hand under his thigh—the place of the Brit Milah—bounding Eliezer by an oath. This act, as explained by Rashi, showcased the significance of the Brit Milah, Avraham Avinu’s first and cherished mitzvah.
As Eliezer embarked on his journey, he had a Kfitzat HaDerech—a swift, one-day trip from Be’er Sheva, through Yerushalayim, to Aram. Eliezer, praying for divine kindness, sought a sign at the well, where young girls gathered. Rivka, arriving with a large jug, exemplified kindness by offering water not only to Eliezer but also to the other servants and camels.
Recognizing her as the chosen one, Eliezer hastily adorned Rivka with jewelry, a symbolic act of engagement in Jewish tradition. He swiftly jumped to this gesture, already convinced of her suitability through the merits of Avram Avinu. The Midrash sheds light on Eliezer’s certainty—trusting the swift journey as Divinely guided for success on his mission. Despite a slight alteration in his storytelling later to Lavan and Betuel, Eliezer’s belief in the success of his mission was unwavering, rooted in his faith and prayer for Divine assistance.
Rebbe Nachman, in Lesson 87, Part 2 of the Likutey Moharan, delves into a profound secret embedded in Avraham Avinu’s words. When Eliezer expressed concern about the woman’s willingness to follow, Avraham Avinu’s response, on the surface, seemed straightforward—should she refuse, Eliezer would be released from the oath, free to find another match for his son. However, Rebbe Nachman uncovers a hidden message within Avraham’s words.
Avraham’s statement “ו’אם ל’א תאבה האשה ל’לכת א’חריך” – “And if the woman will not want to go after you [to marry Yitzchak]” holds the key to understanding how to make the woman desire to follow and marry Yitzhak. Breaking it down, the first letters of “v’eim l’o” form “vav” and “lamed.” In the middle, “tove ha’isha” signifies the woman’s desire. The remaining letters of “l’alekhet a’charecha,” are another lamed and an alef. When rearranged, they spell out “E’L’U’L”. Meaning, through “ELUL” the woman – Rivka – will willingly marry Yitzchak.
Rebbe Nachman associates “ELUL” with a verse from Song of Songs, “A’ni L’dodi v’dodi l’i” (I am to my beloved and my beloved is to me).
Rebbe Nachman interprets this verse as representing two essential expertise areas. “Ani ledodi” refers to the ability to advance in one’s relationship with Hashem, mastering the art of progressing in one’s Jewish journey. Conversely, “v’dodi li” pertains to the expertise of navigating setbacks, knowing how to properly handle and accept the retreats. These two expertise areas, explained as “baki be ratzo” (an expert in running) and “baki be reshov,” (an expert in returning) are encapsulated in the holy name “yabok,” with a gematria of 112.
Expanding on this concept, Rebbe Nachman highlights that expertise in handling life’s highs and lows is crucial. A person’s ability to endure ups and downs without completely crashing is the key. Even in moments of severe downturns, maintaining resilience is vital.
Rebbe Nachman underscores the significance of being an expert in both advancing and retreating, totaling 224 (112 + 112). This sum corresponds to the gematria of “derech” (דרך-pathway). He asserts that mastering these skills is the pathway to drawing one’s destined match – allowing for her to desire him.
Eliezer’s readiness for Messirat Nefesh and his recognition of Divine signals exemplify the qualities that pave the way for successful journeys in life and love!
Rebbe Nachman extends this wisdom beyond finding a shiduch, emphasizing its relevance to shalom bayit (peace in the home). Whether seeking a life partner or enhancing an existing marital bond, the same principles apply. The secret lies in being an expert, navigating life’s journey with resilience.
When setbacks occur, some succumb to destructive behaviors—smoking, overeating, substance abuse, etc. Rebbe Nachman acknowledges these pitfalls but advocates for a different response. Even when knocked down, the key is to rise anew, as if nothing happened. The analogy to a boxing match is apt; getting knocked down countless times but persistently getting up requires true expertise.
Avraham Avinu subtly conveyed a practical message to Eliezer, making him swear on the covenant—the spiritual strength symbolized by Avraham’s mitzvah, the Brit Milah. Essentially, Avraham charged Eliezer with his spiritual strength for the journey, emphasizing the need for expertise in the Derech, both a metaphorical pathway and a tangible journey.
Eliezer’s journey into the Diaspora, deemed a danger zone by Avraham, required him to be an expert in navigating the challenges. Living in the Holy Land versus the Diaspora, as the Gemara suggests, holds worlds of difference. Eliezer, entrusted with finding a Shidduch for Yitzhak, faced ups and downs on this perilous journey. Avraham’s blessing, oath, and the bestowed jewelry served as tangible reminders of his mission’s significance.
Eliezer’s Messirat Nefesh, his willingness to risk everything for Yitzhak’s Shidduch, stemmed from his deep love and respect for Avraham and Yitzhak. His prayers showcased a profound faith and trust in his masters. The Torah, emphasizing the conversations of the servants of the forefathers, underscores the significance of Eliezer’s commitment.
Eliezer, embodying the expertise and readiness to face the challenges, exemplified the essence of being an expert in running and returning. The Torah, in dedicating numerous verses to his story, highlights the greatness of the servants of the Avot. Eliezer’s readiness to endure the ups and downs, symbolized by the Derech and the Baki (112 + 112), showcased his dedication to securing the perfect marriage partner for Yitzhak Avinu.
Moreover, Rashi, quoting the Midrash in the Gemara, reveals an additional layer to Eliezer’s commitment. Eliezer himself had a daughter whom he wished to marry to Yitzhak. However, Avraham declined, citing Eliezer’s Canaanite status. Despite this personal disappointment, Eliezer demonstrated incredible resilience. He bore the weight of embarrassment and shame, a true expert in handling the emotional challenges. His dedication remained unwavering, proving that he was not just a messenger out of obligation; he was a true expert in navigating life’s complexities.
Additionally, the Gemara points out the term “Kfitzat HaDerech,” a shortening of the pathway. Eliezer recognized a divine signal, an indication that Hashem intended this journey to be expedited. His prayers, emphasizing the success of his pathway, echoed his conviction that this was the right course of action.
As he recounted his arrival to Lavan and Betuel, Eliezer stressed that he had come that very day, a testament to the swift and successful journey. His plea to Hashem for success was validated through the proof of a shortened pathway. The Midrash adds that this was the Divine confirmation that Rivka was indeed the right match for Yitzhak.
Eliezer’s commitment and willingness to undergo challenges served as a catalyst for Divine intervention. This lesson extends to all seekers of a life partner, emphasizing the need for commitment and resilience in the journey to find a Shidduch.
In essence, the mystical intentions of the month of Elul, embodied in Eliezer’s story, teach us that being an expert in navigating life’s highs and lows, in both finding a Shidduch and maintaining Shalom Bayit, is the key. Eliezer’s expertise in running forward and returning, his readiness for Messirat Nefesh, and his recognition of the right Divine signals exemplify the qualities that pave the way for successful journeys in life and love.
Shabbat Shalom
Meir Elkabas
